This summer has been full of unexpected blessings, gratefulness, and time well spent.
At the beginning of this year, I made the hard decision to leave nannying and pursue a different job in Early Childhood Education. After applying to many jobs and having a few unsuccessful job interviews, I finally got hired as a Home Visitor for Head Start. I can’t tell you how excited I was to learn from and work with other Early Childhood Educators!
I started the job in the middle of the school year, so my time there was spent finishing what other Home Visitors had started and making sure the school year ended on a positive note. On my last day before summer break began, I didn’t realize that it was actually my last day for good and I wouldn’t be returning when the next school year began.
I spent most of my summer off trying to take advantage of the time I had with Sparrow. I loved playing outside with him, going for walks, cooking food, and just enjoying being together. I won’t say there weren’t rough moments and times when I felt burnt out, because there definitely was, but I felt privileged to be able to have that time with him.
When I only had about a month left before I would have to go back to work, I started feeling extremely sad about Sparrow being in someone else’s care for 40 hours every week.
Now, I feel the need to express my deep understanding for families who have no other option but to have outside care for their children or families who choose to do that based on personal preferences. I am not here to cast any judgments on what you decide is best for your family. In fact, I’m really proud of you for making those decisions. Because they are not made lightly.
For my husband and I, we felt very conflicted about Sparrow spending so much time away from us every week for such a high cost. I’ll be fully transparent here and say that about 80-90% of my income as a Home Visitor would have gone towards childcare for Sparrow. While I loved my job, being able to support other families in such an impactful way, I couldn’t shake the feeling of not being able to do that well for my own family first. And with that, I turned in my two week notice so that I could stay at home with Sparrow full-time.
It’s crazy how it all came to be and I know that God was leading us this way before we knew how much we would really need it. I haven’t seen God do something in my life that was so clearly Him in a long time. I am so thankful that He is caring for us in the same way that I want to care for Sparrow.
So my life looks very different now from what I thought it would look like at the beginning of the year. I am pursuing my art in ways that I didn’t think I would be able to and teaching Sparrow how to value the fullness of day to day life.
Thank you for being here. Thank you for being a part of this process and for creating a space for me to share with you.